GIZZA JOB!

Tonight I've been for an interview for the part time post of Assistant Youth Worker. I applied for the job with the sole intention of putting a bit of me back into the local community. My creativity, knowledge, experiences and social attributes. That's all I have to offer really.

I went prepared with nothing more than myself. No list of qualifications, youth work experience, skills, training or anything. I did have my passport in my back pocket for I.D. purposes.

When I arrived an interview was already in progress so I just stood and observed a load of kids being kids. A couple of lads sat playing on a computer console while a bunch of girls sat around a table playing scrabble. It seemed quite staid, if I'm to be honest, and it did feel kind of strange really as I haven't been in a kid environment for a few years now, but I instantly felt I could mingle in, become a part of this and give these kids something a little more interesting or imaginative to occupy their minds. It needed a bit of Tiswas, Ant and Dec or Fiddy Cent.

Anyway, the previous interview ended and I was invited in to meet Lorraine and an old guy. Probably my age(ish), but looked older. Can't remember his name. Introductions passed and I was given the opportunity to explain why I felt I would be the ideal candidate for the job, so I told them some history. Sinfinite to the core, done this, done that, been good and bad, expert in kids etc blah blah.

Then the questions....

"How would you assess, evaluate, report and record situations?"

"What are your views on equality?"

"What do you see as problems in youth society?"

"What would you do if...?"

Erm? I'm fucked if I know. I haven't studied, learned or trained about stuff like that, but if a situation arises I'm sure I could work it out. I usually do. Mr Probably my age(ish) made me feel uneasy as he ticked, or more likely crossed, his boxes. Lorraine seemed to comprehend me, but her job is her job and regulations are rules and required.

I did assure them that I would piss a CRB check with an absolute clean sheet because I've never been caught for any wrong doings. I'm not sure it went too well.

In conclusion, it's doubtful that I'm the right person for the job because I probably didn't say 'tick' when 'tick' was the answer. If...if I'm not to the required requirements (qualified enough) there was the suggestion of a possible voluntary position that would give me the opportunity to learn stuff and possibly gain an NVQ (whatever that is). Well, If a NVQ is what is needed then I'm up for it, but I hate being tested.

I left wondering.